Idiot!
by MLomg
Summary: Young Chuunin Kakashi is engaged to an Uchiha from a young age, little does he know that the person that is to be his husband is the most sorry Uchiha of them all. Obito x Kakashi, OroJira, 9x4, mpreg, AU
1. Prologue

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**IDIOT**  
_by Masked Lover_

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Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, not ever, never ever never.

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Prologue

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"Mister, are you hungry?" The white haired boy asked the hunched over Gennin who was waiting in the red plastic seat next to him.

The little boy looked familiar to Obito, but he didn't know whose child he was.

Probably the son of a politician or a high ranking official.

The boy looked at the only available person in the hall and waited for a response.

"Oh," Obito stumbled, "I'm just here to pick up some medicine for my friend, Rin."

Obito answered, beaming at the small boy with large circle glasses. "You?"

"One of my dad's had a baby this morning." He kicked his feet out looking at his shoes.

Obito's stomach lurched at the thought of getting a man pregnant. "He was in labour for two days until he had the baby."

Obito jumped, two days! That poor guy.

Obito knew that some day he would literally have to take the plunge, but he couldn't imagine the effects would bring a baby into the world. "Are you happy?"

"Un!"

"Good, that's very good..." Obito was conflicted, stumbling if it was actually good, but if it made people happy: "Very good."

In reality, reality was starting to catch up with him and Obito felt like he was going to barf.

The beautiful nurse arrived just in time with his medicine pack.

She was a real pretty thing with black hair and dark eyes. "Here you go, thank you for waiting!"

Anko noticed the young boy beside the Uchiha failure and smiled at him, "Kabu-chan. I heard that your daddy had a boy."

The young boy beamed, "Really?" The nurse nodded.

"Kabu-chaaaannnnn!"

The doors were kicked open and down the hall came the clacking of the legendary, Sennin Tsunade. A beautiful blonde bombshell with large breasts with a baby in her arms... A baby?

Obito was more than happy to be surrounded by beautiful, beautiful women but it seemed yet another woman was out of his league.

"Kabu-chan," Tsunade called, she had a big smile on her face. In her arms was a pale yellow, fleece blanket, "Come, come, take a look."

She kneeled down and tilted the whining baby to see his brother.

The baby had a plump, chubby face and squishy eyes and it would twitch it's arms every time it felt the sunlight on it's face.

Kabuto's poked the baby's fingers, he was mostly in awe.

"See, it's your little brother, Kabuto. Orochimaru out did himself this time, he's really cute." Tsunade cuddled the baby, she really didn't want to have kids, being so old and Dan was impartial, so they could just spoil Orochimaru's children.

She almost didn't want to let him go, but being a responsible big brother, Kabuto definitely wanted to hold his baby brother. Tsunade carefully placed the new born in Kabuto's arms, guiding his arms to where the proper place was.

"Sensei! Oh, Tsunade, where's Jiraya-sensei?" Yotsubato waved the bouquet of "flowers," probably champagne and cigars knowing the goofy candidate.

Tsunade took the "flowers" and sure enough. Booze and cigars. "Don't yell in the halls, Yotsubato! And stop bringing liquor and cigars from now on!"

Yotsubato rested a hand on Obito's head and rustled the black Uchiha mop. "Hey, you look like you're gonna have a baby too. Obito-kun!"

"N-Nothing." Obito took a look at the baby.

It was a real live, living breathing baby.

"Does the baby really come out a man's butt when it happens that way?" Kabuto asked, handing the baby to the future Hokage who eagerly wanted a closer look at the child in question.

Anko looked at Tsunade and wondered if she should tell the child, but the response was slow.

Tsunade looked from the boy to gennin to his teacher, ah, men. "I'm not going to answer that today. Let's go see your daddy, kid." She took Kabuto in her free hand and led him down the hall, "are you coming too, Anko? Obito?"

Anko shook her head, "I assisted with the delivery and Jiraya and the child will be here for a couple of days."

Obito had to see the guy who had the kid. He must look like a girl. He nodded, briskly and stood up and followed the group down into the maternity section. There were a lot of women, but no pregnant men. He was surprised. If men could get pregnant, they would be more of a visible minority but they weren't and he was glad.

Being a man, and happily, not willing to lend his ass to procreation.

And what real man would!

He looked at the closed door that Tsunade was about to slide open.

And what type of man was his fiancé?

"Sensei."

The room was really white and quiet, Jiraya looked really pale, in his hand a cup of good sake. No one bothered to yell at him for drinking sake in a hospital, he looked like he had been through a rough night. Orochimaru was sitting at his side, ready to pour another glass of the alcoholic refreshment when the crowd of well wishers walked in.

Jiraya. He never knew the legendary writer had a baby, but someone like that having a baby? He was all man, all for breasts! That writing was real inspiring to men too!

A loss to real men.

But Orochimaru, but have really been something.

"Hey, Jiraya-sensei. Have you seen your baby yet." Jiraya became livid, gulping down the sake cup and setting it down on the bed side table. He reached his hands out wanting to hold his child.

Orochimaru just looked that Yotsubato with a smile, "Jiraya has been drinking, as a doctor, I wouldn't advise you to hand the child over to him." Which made Jiraya slump in his seat, he looked at Tsunade who nodded her head in agreement.

Jiraya tried to speak, but even he realised no one could hear his hoarse voice yet. He could only shoot daggers at his husband who smiled and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Jiraya glumly picked up his glass and motioned for another cup. Orochimaru complied.

Tsunade kissed the baby's cheek, "too bad it's not a girl. But another boy is not bad either and Kabuto turned out so well despite your influence, Jiraya." The female Sennin didn't really agree with Jiraya's profession, but if Orochimaru supported it, it was all right.

"Congratulations on your child, Jiraya-sensei. Orochimaru-sama."

Orochimaru noticed the character beside Jiraya's apprentice. "Oh, you're Obito Uchiha." News of the pairing off of one weaker Uchiha to a strong bloodline had been all the rage in the office. It caused much debacle and even he wondered how pathetic the Uchiha was proposed to be. "Congratulations on your engagement."

"You're engaged now?" The blonde man just laughed, bouncing the baby in his arms. "Well, I guess the Uchiha are like that. Congratulations."

"You're his instructor and you didn't know?" Orochimaru looked at his husband with a discrediting eye, "I blame you whenever something like this happens, but I'm thankful for our child and I hope we can have another."

"Youuu haave it." Came the weak reply, Orochimaru just smiled.

"If you insist," Orochimaru continued to pour sake into the waiting hand.

"How hard is it?" Obito asked, his face determined an serious, "how hard is it to have a baby?"

Jiraya looked at his sake cup and then his baby, "hard..." His eyes were droopy and his back sunk into the piles of pillows. "And then the baby is born, and your hole is this small and the baby is this big, pointing to the sake cork, "and it takes days." Orochimaru poured his own cup, cheerfully listening in. He had been on the other end of the mess, but Jiraya was cruel and refused to acknowledge the sinister looking man's existence for the two days he was in labour. "And after all that, then you have to raise it." He sipped the sake down, then it was refilled. "But it's worth it. You're gonna have a kid?"

"He's going to have it, I just have to... You know. Put it in."

Jiraya burst into sore laughter, holding his weak side. "This kid. I like him."

Tsunade cut in realising something, "Oh the name? Have you decided?"

Orochimaru refilled the sake cup again, before moving to filling out the name registration and presenting it to Tsunade. Kabuto looked at the sheet, reading it out loud.

"Sai," Kabuto smiled. Sai.

Obito looked at the family and the lone teacher cherishing the child that had been born into a world of death and destruction and unhappiness.

Could he also bring a child into this world with a stranger?

Maybe.

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**TBC**

**Authors Note:**

I write what I feel, this will be a lead in to another story... But it's another story.

We need more Obito x Kakashi, that's why this exists!

Also, Yotsubato means clover I believe. Four Leaf clover, four. I was gonna go default, but Arashi is over used.


	2. Chapter 01

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**IDIOT**  
_by Masked Lover_

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Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, not ever, never ever never.

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Chapter 1

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Obito could have kicked his own ass, the medicine! He must have left it behind, he checked his old waiting area to see that it was still there! He swooped in and grabbed the bundle off the red seat doing a dance. Anko who had been keeping an eye of the package just chuckled and continued walking.

Now Rin wouldn't kill him and he wouldn't have to try and figure out the prescription and life was happy again.

"What are you doing, dunce?" Obito felt his stomach clench, he didn't want to see that boy's half-covered face. Somehow he felt that his life rival wasn't as ugly as he wished he was.

Kakashi.

Hatake Kakashi.

He shot an evil look at the boy, who was so taken back by the sudden hatred directed at him. Kakashi recovered his composure, matching the hated look until he overtook the weaker boy with trained hate rays. Obito felt the shiver run through his body and pointed at the boy, but was cut off before he could talk.

"Are you injured?" Suddenly Kakashi was not as angry. But he seemed more--- Obito frowned, he didn't know! Definitely not sympathetic, if being a member of Kakashi's team had taught him.

Obito folded his arms, and huffed. "What? Hoping I die and you guys get a replacement, Mr. to be Jounin."

Kakashi felt his heart clench, he looked to the side.

"If you die, that's your fault so don't make it mine!" He spat angrily, looking to his side.

Orochimaru had been walking in the hall with the finished sake set, when he noticed the news occurring before his eyes. Kakashi and Obito were locked in a secret battle, he passed by with a knowing smile.

They would make a good couple.

Obito bowed, "sorry."

Kakashi's eyes widened, he looked at his oblivious husband to be. Obito wasn't a good ninja, he wasn't good at anything. A late bloomer and most of the girls had expressed extreme dislike, even unethical hatred towards the late bloomer.

Kakashi himself didn't like him, but being a member of Uchiha would erase the horrible Hatake attachment of his name and he would be cleansed of all past sins. Obito was useful for something, and the young white haired boy had long given up ideas of love and friendship. "You're forgiven," he proceeded past the young boy, purposely hitting the boy in the shoulder, "for now."

"Ah ha ha ha," Orochimaru couldn't stop laughing.

Kakashi turned to see the Sennin, his face red. "Orochimaru-sensei! How long have you been there?"

This would be bad, he had requested the details of their marriage to be kept from Obito and Obito being as daft he was, would catch up easily if he were to be outright told.

Orochimaru clutched his middle, he was laughing so hard.

Obito walked over to the black haired man and placed his hand on the man's back, "are you okay? What's so funny?"

Obito was such an honest boy.

Orochimaru stood up and coughed, "oh, I er," he caught the insistent glare of Sakumo's son and waved the laugh off, "I had a bit to drink. Kakashi, Jiraya has given birth to a beautiful boy. And thank you for your gift, it was quite out of the way for a boy like you."

Kakashi looked at the charismatic man before him, it was good that he was able to be so happy. Kabuto was an adoring child and he hoped that he and Obito would have a good child as well. "It's no problem, what is the child's name?"

Orochimaru beamed, making the man look more friendly. "Sai."

"Sai," Kakashi thought of the name, "I thought that Jiraya-sensei would choose something-"

"Associated to alcohol?" Orochimaru couldn't stop laughing, "something like Brandy or Bunny for a girl."

Kakashi looked horrified, "I didn't mean to insinuate that, Orochimaru-sensei."

Orochimaru rustled the boy's hair, "oh lighten up boy." He looked at Anko who was running his direction. Obito was caught up in the bounce of her step, with a slight blush.

"Emergency," Anko rushed, leading the way back.

Orochimaru looked over the bloodied sheet, "I'll be on it."

He looked at the two boys.

Kakashi was the type of man that Obito needed in his life, someone who would make his rigid and tall.

Obito would need to strive to be taller than Kakashi, especially now. Or at least fatter.

That lonely boy needed someone soft to lean on.

"You two... Good luck."

Obito waved back, "congrats on the baby and good luck."

Kakashi was glad that he was in the presence of Obito at times, he wouldn't have had the strength to say such easy words with someone so great as Orochimaru. He couldn't see someone so... Idiotic getting cosy with an intelligent, enterprising man like Orochimaru.

But the Jiraya was a travelling drunkard, that wrote racy romance novels for men none the less and stayed home only to raise his son Kabuto or because he was pregnant at the time. It was more than surprizing that Jiraya would end up with someone who was so grounded in Konoha and medicine. Orochimaru-sensei was not a man to be taken lightly, along side Tsunade, he was a great man when it came to progress. Tsunade didn't even hold a candle to the man, which was a shame because women rarely held themselves in high esteem. If she wasn't so goosey-loosey for her husband Dan she would have made an excellent Hokage.

But Yotsubato would do fine.

"Shall we go?" Kakashi walked to the entrance of the building.

"What?" Obito didn't follow, "why?"

"You're going to see Rin right?" Obito felt the pain welling up in his stomach, it would be a good idea to tell both Rin and Kakashi together and run away. "I'm walking in that direction-"

"You better not laying the sweet on Rin! She's a real lady-"

Kakashi sighed, going back and picking up the medicine off the ground, Obito didn't even realise he set it down. "Without my escorting you, you might never make it there."

"WHAT!" Kakashi pushed the door and walked out, letting the door close on a squawking Obito. "Come back here!"

Kakashi didn't slow down his pace, "I'm not even walking fast, if you're a ninja you should be catching up easily. You're hopeless."

He looked Obito up and down over his shoulder.

"A real idiot, you know that."

The tone of Kakashi's voice was warm.

Obito felt that much more odd when he reached Kakashi's side.

He felt their relationship tilt to the side and slowly he slid towards the boy, relaxed.

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**TBC**

**Author's Note:**

This story will be over a lot of chapters... But the chapters will be real short so I can keep the spelling somewhat correct.

Anywhoooooo! That you my two alerts, I notice you were alerted. I don't care if anyone reads this! It's a hella fun and I have a lot plans, because this is going to lead into another fanfic after.

I've taken a lot of risks and liberties with characters, and enjoying it all.

Thanks for reading' kids!

Goodnight!


	3. Chapter 02

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**IDIOT**  
by Masked Lover

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Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, not ever, never ever never.

notes: _italics_ + _thoughts_ Monsieur Obvious

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Chapter 2

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Kakashi resisted the urge to turn his head, hearing the crashing garbage can sound and the cat scurrying past his feet. Whatever Obito was doing, he probably didn't want the soon-to-be jounin to see. "Why do we have to take a short cut? This alleyway is totally cramped and creepy--" Obito looked at the adventuring chunin, wading over cans of garbage like a leaf floating on a lake. "--Like you."

Kakashi could smell the fragrance of femininity in the air.

The mob was close.

He motioned for silence, and Obito made a strange face at the boy who was ignoring him.

Obito stumbled, trying to regain his footing looked up to the level headed ninja before him. Kakashi didn't even turn or bat an eye, he continued forward, walking with a straight face.

Kakashi didn't want to see the mess of a boy he was going to marry, "hurry up."

"I'm trying, that cat just scared the crap out of me!" Obito pointed to the harmless tabby cat, that licked it's paw adorably.

"SHH!" Kakashi definitely didn't want to look. He closed his eyes and realised that if he wasn't going to be a widow soon after his marriage he might go mad and kill the Obito himself.

There was a heavy weight on his shoulder, Obito was getting comfortable. Laughing, the stink of his breath sifted into Kakashi's nostrils. Cinnamon? The crunch of the cracking shell of candy echoed in his ears, he tried to brush the sound out of his ear when Obito leaned in with a cheeky smile. "Ya want some?"

"Keep it down," he could hear the shrill voices of the masses of girls.

To think that marrying the oaf that he was supporting with his back was in a way of getting protection for his own. He would admit to being the type to give his life away for power and rank, but there were limitations to what he would say or do. He had his own code of ethics, a code that his own father failed to uphold, which cost him his own mind and life.

Life had no guarantees, he was just glad that the Uchiha family agreed to take him in, in fact, even offered an opportunity that he could get the security and protection of a family like the Uchiha's. Maybe if the future, if he were to loose an leg or eye, he would have the support of a family that he could fall into.

He had toured the Uchiha Compound. Seen their ways, there was very little love between those related couples. Kakashi would not dare speak the truth out loud, but even with his own young eyes, he could see the effects and madness that the inbreeding was creating. They were obsessed with power and status, Kakashi smirked, he would do well in this family at least.

Hatake...

_'My name will be Uchiha Kakashi pretty soon...'_

The Hatake name had died the second his father took his life.

But... Obito...

Obito was different, he didn't seem to want to gain strength. He felt the weight of the boy press into him.

The scarecrow sighed, shouldering the burden for a little while longer.

The boy probably didn't know anything about sex between males, not that Kakashi was going to run around crazy learning the sex trade. There were enough men and women after his ass, and it would only incriminate and complicate his impending marriage. He would have to find education before that day... And about procreation, he was expected to bear some Uchiha's into the world and in his stomach he prayed that they would take from his rather than the cinnamon gorilla on his back.

Soon he would become an Uchiha...

He was glad that everyone had respected his wishes, but if the boy himself didn't have any interest in finding out which male he was going to marry then Kakashi was frankly a little worried.

Kakashi felt his body tremble under Obito's comforting presence, he slipped away but Obito held on wrapping his arms around Kakashi's body.

Obito raised himself off the suspended Chuunin and stared at what he was pinning down, Kakashi's mouth guard had been pulled down.

"I--"

Kakashi was beautiful.

Even prettier than Rin.

He had an elegant face, and even though his expression was of annoyance and rage and he was whispering, "get the hell off me," Obito couldn't help feel attracted to Kakashi's face.

_'Another one,'_ Kakashi frowned.

The mouth guard came up and he shoved the Uchiha off his body with a swipe of his arm.

"I'm sorry... You just..." Kakashi connected eyes with Uchiha again, the boy was blushing like a virgin. Kakashi smirked and folded his arms, causing Obito to realise that the handsome bastard was now actually handsome and perfect and beautiful and good at everything and with the look that Kakashi was giving him, he was probably laughing at Obito's pathetic nature.

One.

He, Uchiha Obito, was leaning on Kakashi, able and dependable, a caused the both of them to fall over.

Two.

He, Uchiha Obito, pulled down his rival's, Hatake Kakashi's precious mouth guard.

Obito's head hung lower when he realised who was in the wrong--No! It was all Kakashi's fault.

"You pulled away and I--" Obito stumbled, "I was just trying---"

He flailed his arms.

Obito felt his uncoolness permeating from himself.

Kakashi's knowing smile became wider and wider.

"It's all right," Kakashi lead the way out of the alley, "I'll forgive you for now."

The intelligent ninja rubbed his chin as Obito struggled once again to catch up, _'I should have shown him my face before. Would have made life more easier.'_ But a least Kakashi had something that he could use to his advantage.

Not that he would need one, it made life easier.

Obito Uchiha at least found him attractive, and if he wasn't a homosexual, he would at least be a little motivated in the bedroom.

Obito stepped into the sunlight.

He looked at the apartment in view before him and ran to Kakashi who was well prepared to be yelled at.

"THIS IS RIN'S HOUSE!" Obito grabbed Kakashi by the shirt, the victim in question duly noted that he would let the over protective Rin take over the rest.

Rin, who had been at a window, overheard and only caught the horrifying end of the fight which was Uchiha Obito yelling and bullying her precious Hatake Kakashi. She him the boy by throwing the potted plant he had been watering, shrieking in a shrill voice: "Don't pick on Kakashi, you bully!"

Of course, Obito was more hurt by the girl of his dreams.

He hadn't seen Rin...

Hadn't seen her since his engagement, and when he finally got the chance to see her she was beating the living daylights out of him.

Life was tough.

Kakashi sighed, trying to salvage the innocent plant that lay on the ground.

_'Start small, the grow big, huh...'_

He looked back to the pulverised boy.

And the the plant.

There wasn't much of a difference.

He smiled secretly at the plant, "I think I'll name you Obito. I think you'll not only make a come back, but you'll grow big and taller...

And faster than that Uchiha."


	4. Chapter 03

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**IDIOT**

by Masked Lover

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Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, not ever, never ever never.

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Chapter 3

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Kakashi worked on stabilising the plant, it was doing quite well for something that had been thrown out the window by a hyperactive, violent girl.

It was a good life being a Chuunin, not only did that mean better missions with REAL Jounin, but is meant less menial missions with weak gennin. And more money, which made Kakashi happy, as he loved being a breadwinner.

But that would soon be thrown out the window too, maybe Obito would be a pathetic husband, earn them no money and Kakashi would be allowed to work. That sounded like something that needed to be plotted, and he would enjoy it much while he was getting fitted for his dress.

"You're really too kind as to give Kakashi that plant-ITAAA!!!!" The foot twisted over Oibito's, under the table. Obito cringed and pulled the foot free when the loaded lightened, Kakashi's eyes meeting Rin's flustered gaze. She had followed the boys after the medicine had been delivered, without much as a thank you and ended up joining the pair for dinner, which Kakashi insisted they enjoy a team.

Rin shot Obito a dirty look, and went back to gazing at Kakashi who was desperately trying to act asexual much like the green plant in his hands.

In reality, Kakashi wished he hadn't said anything as Rin was grating on his nerves.

Kakashi sighed and focused on the plant in his hands.

Obito moved his hands, worriedly. "Hey..."

Rin continued to remain silent, staring forward even though there was someone who was completely ready to give all his attention and maybe even love right beside her.

Sometimes, well--especially lately he didn't know what he saw in the girl. Before he was really crushing on her, now he was kind of glad he was getting some arranged ass even though he had never seen the boy in question and didn't even like boys. He wanted to squash his feelings and just shut his mouth, but the news were spreading and many already was looking at him with odd eyes.

Kakashi probably already knew, but the one he cared about was Rin. Obito genuinely liked her, but the feelings were no mutual, and that was all right and okay and he could deal with that. But it was weird enough, the fact that he would be married off to someone he probably never met before but he still wanted Rin to be there and really wanted Kakashi to be jealous.

"Kakashi--" He turned the girl to his right, Rin didn't care that he had spoke, but that the Uchiha called Kakashi. Her eyes met with Obito's and she blushed slightly, "Rin...

"I have an important announcement," Kakashi knew what the boy was going to say, but he looked up, pretending there was some surprise.

"Have your balls have dropped yet?"

Rin burst into laughter, but tried to kill her laughter before Obito killed himself out of embarrassment.

Obito couldn't find the words to fight back, but tried to continue on with Kakashi revealing in Obito's discomfort. "Sh-sh-shut up! It's really important!" He slammed his hand down on the table and was met with a resounding, ssssshhh. Obito rolled his eyes, seeing it was from the same pair he was trying to gain his attention from.

He slunk back to his seating beside Rin, taking deep breaths in and trying to find his centre and finish his announcement.

He took in a deep breath and spoke with a firm voice and confidence.

"I'm getting married!"

There was a pause.

Kakashi had no reaction and Obito held the fact he was to be married, high and pride fully to Kakashi's face to stun him more and smiled wider when Kakashi was even more surprised. A surprise that Obito was even pleased by his marriage.

"I already know," Kakashi's fingers twitched. Rin nodded twice, almost not caring, but her eyes were slipping looks at Kakashi again.

"Somebody told me," Rin spoke in a hushed tone, leaning towards Obito. She felt a bit giddy, a happy tone to her voice. "I heard it was a guy. Is it true?" She dropped the words, because that would be totally hot. Followed by the thought, even if it's the other guy and you.

Obito looked at Rin, he had a crush on her. He knew she liked yaoi manga, and liked to speculate on gay couples in the village. It was more than awkward to talk about, especially to a girl he once and still sorta had a crush on.

Obito nodded hesitantly, really afraid of her reaction. "It's true."

Rin looked at the boy who had a crush on her for such a long time, up and down for the first time ever. "Does that mean you're gay?"

"No, it's completely arranged!" Obito responded, offended. Rin sighed, now bored again, but still listening it very loosely. Obito was a great guy, she mused, but he was too nice and not stimulating at all. "Why else would I marry a guy? I'm completely straight."

Rin looked back to the menu, "well you're going to be gay. That's what happens when you marry a guy. Do you know when the wedding is?"

Obito was tapped his foot, wishing he wasn't having this conversation. "That's not necessarily true..." He met with Kakashi's sympathetic eyes, "In a week."

Rin squealed! She really wanted to go to a wedding, and everyone was going and was growing into a big deal. A lot of girls were getting dresses made just for the event, even though Obito wasn't that much of a Uchiha, he was connecting bloodlines with someone famous and all of who was who in Konoha were attending. It was a bit of a send off before everyone starting getting married themselves, as their lives were short and the generation in question were mere Gennin's and Chuunin's.

"When were you going to tell us? Kakashi, say something!" She was really getting into this, with Obito out of the way she would have Kakashi all to herself, and then she and Kakashi could get married and maybe buy a house and continue his clan. The whole affair was very romantic, and she let Obito take some credit for it too.

Kakashi raised his hand in a snide look. "Congratulations."

His smile was intimidating and infectious. It made Rin swoon with delight.

There was very little keeping the Uchiha back, mostly the table. Obito wanted to throttle Kakashi for stealing his thunder, especially for downplaying something like his wedding.

"I'll have a sundae," he grumbled, slamming the menu onto the table, hating the fact that his anger was probably going to be ignored. Obito's life was not going the way he planned.

"On me," Kakashi added.

"Hey!" He tried to rise too quickly and hurt his knee, shivering back to his seat. Rin rolled her eyes and he waitress tried to delay serving the table, even though Kakashi was kind of cute and gentlemanly.

"Let me do this for you," he lay his menu over the menu that Obito once held.

It would do no good for Obito to hold a grudge, especially well onto his way to their wedding night and later when they would have to fall in love. A rare feat that Kakashi couldn't even fathom at all.

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TBC

**Author's Note:**

Sorry for being so late, I need to update this first, then move through my fan fiction ending with my overly large chapter of "Mahou no Kotoba." WHY! Why do you have to be so long. weeps


	5. Chapter 04

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**IDIOT**

by Masked Lover

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Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, not ever, never ever never.

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Chapter 4

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"What are you doing?" Obito turned to see the Chuunin trailing after him, he turned back and continued down his path as if he was entering a bad nightmare.

"I have to give me regards to your family, right?" Kakashi established, firmly staying close to the Gennin who was only trying to lose him. "I am your only friend."

That was the kicker.

"Hey!" Really, there wasn't much people he hung around with. Kakashi had more friends than him, "I can't help that I'm a loser."

Kakashi had managed to make a lot of friends, even Gai was his friend in a way. But Kakashi had things going for him. "Is that all you have to say?"

"Oh, Kakashi. We've been waiting for you?" The dark haired, pale skinned beauty strode to Uchiha's side. "Hello, Obito. Are you nervous?"

"I'm a man, I have nothing to be afraid of," Mikoto merely giggled.

It took Obito a while to notice the woman in question was the wife of the Uchiha head and the boy who stood beside her was the prodigy child, Itachi. He bowed, "I'll be leaving. Excuse me."

In his gut wrenched a bit of jealousy.

Some people had all the luck.

Kakashi walked to Mikoto, but as he did he strained his ear to Obito's cold words. "Well, say hi to my mom, drop off your gift and go."

And then Obito was gone.

"Kakashi, welcome to the family." Kakashi melted the married woman's heart with his smile, she had caught a glimpse of his face when she was told she would be his make-up artist. She was stranger to faces, and Kakashi was a beautiful boy. "Oh Kakashi, if I weren't married." She added quietly, "at least be glad that your husband is a little cute in his own way and in no way boring like my husband is."

The woman went on and on, "oh and this is my son, Itachi. Say hello, Itachi."

The boy blushed, "hello, nisan."

"Hello, Itachi." Kakashi noted the group of women that were beginning to a mass. "Are these women all here for..."

The crowd swept in, old ladies, aunties, young wives, all bored.

"Oh he's so young!" The old lady held his hand, "and his skin is so soft. He'll be a darling bride."

"Finally, a male wife! It's so rare these days. Well, Jiraya doesn't count." Muttered a young wife.

The crowd quickly abducted the boy, ushering him into the Uchiha Community Centre. He could barely see where he was going until he arrived and he saw the room. It was the kitchen of the community centre, it seemed that preparation for the wedding was already underway.

Make-up and cooking?

He was lead to a seat where he sat down with tight lips.

"--And that's what we're having, aren't you excited," it seemed Mikoto was the most excited of them all. "So, I'm just going to remove you mask."

"?!" Kakashi touched his face mask, but finally consented in the end.

There was a sea of sighs, Mikoto almost fainted.

"What a waste!"

"He's a real beauty."

"We wasted him on Obito!!"

---

"Obito isn't skilled enough to run from our Kakashi," Itachi commented, watching the young Chuunin being groomed for the ceremony. It would have been more beneficial for Kakashi if instead he were to be wed to the young boy, but Itachi was unavailable due to him being the eldest child of the Main house head.

Kakashi tried to keep his mind occupied, but Obito interrupted his thoughts. Uchiha tradition mean they would have to consummate their relationship in front of a watching audience.

Fugaku looked to be a stern man, with a fish of a mouth and he couldn't imagine how awkward sex with Obito would be in front of such a man.

His body stiffened ever so more when he caught his own reflection in the mirror, it had taken less time as his skin was so deathly pale that he needed very little make up to whiten his skin to the appearance of a bride's. Kakashi's bored eyes looking at the young woman's face as she craned his chin up.

"Try to smile, Kakashi."

The fat brush rolled against the pigment, she raised the brush and with precision that only a perfectionist would care about, the final details were insignificant seeing that it was just a test run. She looked at the soon-to-be bride's white and painted face, there were some breeches in tradition but Mikoto tried to bring Kakashi's expression the closest to a happy, Japanese bride.

"Perhaps you need a wig," she called to her comrade, motioning for the woman to get ready to go. "Keiko, can you see if there is a fitting wig, wait a second let's take a good look at you, Kakashi..."

"But he's a boy!" Keiko whined, she looked at Uchiha's head wife with annoyance. She looked at Kakashi, his sharp looks dulled down soft.

"Perhaps you're right?" The woman looked at Kakashi, trying to see what she could do with Kakashi's hair. It was too short and with a wig Kakashi would cease to be Kakashi, but tradition of covering up the bride's horns was something to be respected and she had an inkling she could never find a wig big enough to cover those horns that Obito would grow to fear.

"Mikoto-san is in charge, I just want to look as beautiful as possible."

As beautiful as possible, but the fierce woman cut in on the to-be wife of the most hopeless boy in the village, "but it's your wedding day. Just think about it, I really don't think you need one unless you really want one."

There was to be a photographer to take pictures of him and Obito. It would look odd with or without a wig on his head, Kakashi noted. "Would it be all right if I don't wear a wig? Perhaps an elegant hair ornament, you could style my hair."

"It's more of a problem of you hair being white." Kakashi's eyes widened, his eyes met with his stylist and he beamed. "We could... That would look fantastic, you'd look a little old, but you'd totally be in style. And it'd go with your mother's wedding dress that compliments your skin."

"What is?"

"A white wig."

"He'd look like a ghost."

"Or an old lady--"

"Obito will have the shock of his life, huh?"

"Not on my watch!" Mikoto raised her hand victoriously, Kakashi pondered if Mikoto was really wasted on Fugaku. "Kakashi, I guarantee you'll be on every magazine with your skin and your eyes and my styling."

"That's a great idea, a white wig." Keiko looked over Kakashi again, and swooned, Obito would be knocked dead at the sight of his bride unless Kakashi knocked him dead for other reasons.

"How about these ornaments?"

"Too bland." Mikoto tossed them.

"Red or blue."

"Red and cerulean blue!" An old lady passed an ornament that was cerulean and perfect for the occasion. "And a emerald green!"

"This is perfect," Kakashi smiled at the old woman, who almost had a heart attack, "thank you Obachan."

"No, thank you." She touched her blushing cheeks, "I hope you have lot's of children with your wonderful face."

A woman who was preparing food chimed in, "or have an affair with a handsome man. Obito probably won't yield as handsome children."

Mikoto tossed a brush at the woman, "don't say that! That's Kakashi's husband!"

Kakashi couldn't help but feel that inkling of blots that dotted his gut instinct, his hand resting on that part that would one day carry that child he had promise to have when he signed his life away.

"Hai."

* * *

-

TBC

**Author's Note:**

The horns that Mikoto is taking about, are.. Oh I'll explain in another chapter.

Feel free to pester me to update. I need it.


	6. Chapter 05

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**IDIOT**

by Masked Lover

-

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, not ever, never ever never.

---

Chapter 5

---

Obito swished the liquid in his mouth and spat out the chalky taste, his face was still dripping, not that he cared. He dabbed his face dry and entered his room. 

The looked reflection in the mirror looked back at him with disdain, he wouldn't be living in this home any longer. Soon he would become the man of his own household. It was frightening. His new home would probably be nice, but he would still miss the cramped spaces of his old home.

"Whoever I'm marrying seems pretty loaded," he mumbled out loud, to buy land from the Uchiha and then build a house on it. He smirked, revelling in that fact that he would be the man in the relationship and whoever that guy was was going to bottom.

Not that he would want to, but either way in this situation he would be branded gay, but at least he was in the least gay position.

"Obito!" The shrill voice of his mother tore through the walls, he ignored the first call, but his older cousins were banging on the door. He washed up the mess and walked out the door.

He was greeted by a firm punch in the stomach, relatives were rough. "Hurry up, auntie is waiting!"

Obito clenched his stomach, as he carefully walked down the stairs holding the railing he lifted his sulking head and answered. "What is it this time mom."

His mother was smiling, and that was creepy as she was a miserable woman and she felt miserable about everything.

Obito eyes met with his rival, Kakashi's.

"Hello Obito," Kakashi bowed his head, respectfully, although it was an act of goodwill rather than that he actually cared. (Come on, it's Kakashi. He's too cool for school.)

Obito's eyes bulged, "WH-WHA-WHHHAAATTTT??!!"

Keiko was unfettered. They had planned this all along, with Kakashi's approval. Kakashi would board with Obito until their wedding night so it would be awkward. It was all brilliant! Hopefully Obito would a gentleman and keep his grubby hands to himself, but she giggled in her mind of the things that Obito and Kakashi would share and if SHE, she mused, was Kakashi's fiancee, she would jump him with no restraints at all.

Not that Obito, the silly goose had realised yet.

"Kakashi will be sleeping over tonight. He's been helping out with the wedding preparations, you really should be helping out too." His mother tattled on, swinging her hips as she chirped. "I'm looking forward to when your wife starts living with you, he'll whip you into shape--"

"Whatever mom." Obito slouched, that was it?

"And Kakashi, will be staying in your room until the wedding is over."

"BUT!" Obito groaned, slapping his forehead. He shot Kakashi a look, who looked innocent and NOT like Kakashi at all! "Don't do anything strange, you freak."

His mother punch landed on the soft part of his skull, where the poor Gennin had been dropped many times when he was baby. "HOW could you! Sorry Kakashi, my son is a cad."

"It's all right Keiko, all men are." Kakashi smiled under his face mask and nodded that he took no offence at all.

She swung her hips, when her husband said her name it didn't make her feel so giggly. Oh, she really wanted to be married to Kakashi instead. He was a real handsome boy! But at least Kakashi would grow up to be HER awesome daughter-in-law, and everyone on the block would be sooo jealous!

Obito grumbled. "Whatever, I'm leaving."

Stomping up the stairs, and much to his chagrin, Kakashi was a step behind.

He stopped several steps before his room and turned around.

Kakashi just stood there.

"Hey, quit following me," shot to his stalker, in fact Kakashi had been around him all day since he had met him in the hospital, "just let up a little, you're suffocating me!"

Kakashi looked at his surly husband-to-be, "you and I are supposed to be sharing a room tonight."

Obito took in Kakashi's words, quaking with fear.

Kakashi... Obito looked over his shoulder at his locked door.

Nobody had dared enter his room in years.

Not because his room was dirty or had a weird smell, but the one thing that Obito had mastered was keeping everybody out of his room and that was going to be violated by his rival, and arch nemesis: Hatake Kakashi?! No way! He wouldn't give Kakashi that benefit!

"Or are you chicken?" Kakashi added, folding his arms and trying not to yawn. Being beautiful and preparing for a wedding was tough work.

Obito flopped forward in defeat, he really didn't have a choice.

"I am not chicken! I'm a man! Just let me clean up, will ya?" Obito turned and shuffled to his door, he peeked to see that Kakashi had that same bored expression. "No peeking."

Kakashi was slightly offended, "why would I peek, idiot!"

Obito opened the door and closed it behind him, scrambling to clean up the naughty novels and tapes and DVD's all over his floor. He was running out of places to hide things. The straight porn could be left out, but the gay porn had to be put away. Not that he was gay, he just didn't want to screw up if someone was watching them. It wasn't like screwing a girl, he could in theory have sex with a girl, but the fact his first time would be with a guy?!

He didn't even know what stuff would work, but then... At least it was a guy, he in theory could do it with a guy better then he would do it with a girl... He winced, stopping in mid rush.

The whole scenario seemed unfair, but at least he was giving it and not taking it. 'That's it,' Obito reassured himself, "I'm the man in the relationship! Not the other guy!'

"Can I come in yet?"

Obito snapped back into reality.

"AHHHH!!"

He had stepped on a banana peel for the banana he had been testing condoms on and fell on his back.

It was then that Kakashi opened the door.

He looked at Obito.

He closed the door.

Obito lay on his back, red faced, covered in gay porn DVD covers and Gay porn magazines, absolutely humiliated.

---

"It's all right," Kakashi looked at Obito, but Obito looked down red faced. "That sound perfectly rational."

At least he now knew the obvious. Obito was a virgin.

The boys were face to face, sitting face to face in a kneeling position on Obito's lain out futon.

"UM!" Obito tried to change the subject. "Hey... Just forget it and let's just go to bed."

He was suddenly struck by the awkwardness of that sentence.

Everyone was already fast asleep by now too, he could go around asking for a spare futon.

All of this was extremely gay.

* * *

-

TBC

**Author's Note:**

Phantomsnow asked me if Sasuke would be Obito and Kakashi's son. I've actually been keeping track of the ages, and if that were to happen Kakashi and Obito should probably start trying soon! OO;; 

But it's all up to what you guys want, do you guys want Sasuke to be Obito and Kakashi's kid, or do you want me to continue to slowly weave my story into a wild and crazy shape. Either way is fine with me!

So Review and Vote!

I'll tally the total in three chapters time!

And don't forget to harass me to update! I forget you know.


	7. Chapter 06

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The was no escaping his grasp, when Obito turned towards his senior, pressing his face against Kakashi's guarded lips. His right arm swung over and landed on Kakashi's thigh. Kakashi had to move his face, because Obito wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

The night was too long.

It was odd sleeping beside Obito, his arm was like a fatty pillow and his face fit into his shoulder perfectly.

It wasn't like he wanted to sleep beside the black haired Gennin, Kakashi awoke in the middle of the night as Obito propped his arm under his head. (At least the boy had the sense to wear deodorant.)

Kakashi knew would have to share a bed with him eventually, mission or marriage, but it would take a lot of getting used to but it was something he kind of liked. Obito was unusually soft.

-

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**IDIOT**

by Masked Lover

-

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, not ever, never ever never.

---

Chapter 6

---

When Obito woke up at four o' clock, he felt the rise of his own erection, which was normal for a growing boy, but what was unusual was that it was pressing against the hip of another boy. 

"Sorry," he spoke curtly, pulling his desire away from Kakashi when he felt the pull of the attractive bed mate on his arm. "I mean it's weird, I'll just deal with it." Kakashi's hand stayed.

That was an odd, "uh, Kakashi."

The scarecrow didn't budge, his face was fierce and determined.

The plot went to hell.

It was like some hack, shit story from those poorly filmed porno videos come to life made by farmers just to keep the wolf from the door.

Why else would Kakashi be pushing down someone not even a quarter as good looking as himself. It was just so crazy it had to be a dream that Obito was having from eating some of that strange food or maybe watching soo much strange gay films that made his straight-side go wild as some bad side effect.

Kakashi's hands reached into the boys pants, his eyes dilated on contact. "What? What? What are you doing?"

He had heard the Uchiha women jesting about it, about it's health and size. How it was cute and they gushed over it, shared every mortifying story about Obito and his junk...

Junk...

Kakashi's eye twitched in slight jealously.

It was like some sort of treasure.

Kakashi couldn't even compare his own to it. He though he was a pretty okay size but Obito made him green with penis envy. What the hell did Obito eat, apparently, Kakashi bitterly ached, he wasn't eating enough of it. Of course everyone was laughing and patting each other on the back when they all drew up the contract, Kakashi knew he was totally out of the loop as the insisted on the issue, defaulting Obito to the role of husband.

Kakashi shivered taking a look at the beast in question, Obito was pretty young...

What if it grew bigger?

'We're only thirteen, it'll take a couple of years,' his face nearing the sole thing in his mind right now at his young age. 'But we're thirteen and it's all ready THAT BIG.'

"I'M SORRY," Obito pried his own member delicately from the beautiful boy's fingers. Kakashi was apparently handsome, it was almost a shame but it was better to live without the story of Kakashi beating him off rather then listen to his future male wife-rag on him for not being chaste. "I'm getting married!"

"He won't even know," Kakashi restrained Obito's leg, "now hold still."

Then Kakashi pulled down the face mask and the blood rushed to Obito's face too.

Obito searched his options, yelling was out. This was awkward. Very awkward.

"Ah," Kakashi blinked at the mess that hit his face, "I didn't even do anything yet Obito."

Obito bit back bitterly, engaged and to be married at thirteen, and he just came in a guys face. And not any guy, his rival. "It's your face! Why do you have to be so pretty! Aren't you a guy too!" His face fell into his palms and Obito started to sob, "why, why to I have to come in a guys face. This is so embarrassing!"

"Obito! Kakashi! Are you already awake?"

'Shh, quiet down.' But when Obito looked at Kakashi's face.

Kakashi wiped his face with his hand and tasted the liquid, "ugh. Tastes gross."

"Don't eat it!" Obito trembled at the idea

"Huh?" Kakashi looked at Obito, was he that ashamed of what he did? Did he even have a clue they were engaged. This would certainly make a good piece of blackmail when they were married.

Kakashi was a little more bitter about being the woman in the relationship, but if he was going to lose to genetics, that was fine. He would rule their house with an iron fist.

Obito never looked more livid, Kakashi mused.

Obito clasped his fiance's shoulder.

It was the only way out, Obito decided, that wasn't so obvious.

"On second thought, eat it all up before my mother comes in."

"Are you all right?" Obito's mother asked quizzically. She secretly wanted to know how far Kakashi would go tonight. He said something about "testing the borders of my relationship with Obito," so that must be something that young children do now a days. Traveling at the speed of light, she was envious!

Kaede squirmed, soon the two boys would move out and then she wouldn't be able to cheer them on in their own relationship.

To think, Obito getting his own house, he was really lucky. "Okay, I'm coming in Obito."

Obito unlocked the door and she immediately scanned the room and looked at Kakashi's face.

Her face was tinted red, "oh, I see you two were making out I'm so sorry."

Obito turned to see Kakashi was licking his lips, and he clenched his stomach as if he had something bitter in his own mouth.

"That's not true!"

Not one bit.

* * *

-

TBC

**Author's Note:**

Phantomsnow asked me if Sasuke would be Obito and Kakashi's son. I've actually been keeping track of the ages, and if that were to happen Kakashi and Obito should probably start trying soon! OO;; There both, as you can see, thirteen! Noooo... I feel like I'm a pervert! Thirteen! And I wrote them doing this! 

BTW I reply to your e-mails in PM so if you haven't gotten a reply yet, that's okay. I haven't been receiving my update alerts in hotmail so I'm a little peeved.

Sooo Review and Vote!

I'll tally the total in two more chapters time!

And don't forget to harass me to update! I forget you know.


	8. Chapter 07

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Obito stumbled down the stairs, swaying as he walked. What just happened this morning?

Kakashi... Did he... WAIT!

Was Kakashi gay?

Did this mean...

-

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**IDIOT**

by Masked Lover

-

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, not ever, never ever never.

---

Chapter 7

---

"Good morning Kakashi!" The entirety of Obito's family starting from Obito's grandfather to his two sons to their children and the kitchen was more crowded then Kakashi had expected.

"Oh," he tried to avoid the sweeping eyes of one of Obito's cousin, Jun, who seemed to be a Jounin from his experienced eye. "Kakashi good morning."

Kakashi called out to his mother-in-law to be. "Obito has locked himself in his room. He hasn't said he was going to have breakfast yet, but he said feel free to start without him." He greeted his grandparents-to-be and sat down where he guessed, was Obito's place at the table.

Obito's grandmother nodded, "what a nice boy."

"He must be watching gay porn," Obito's father, Meijin noted as he looked up from the Konoha Nin Newspaper to the ceiling, "it's really quiet upstairs, Obito's not shouting or watching wrestling or whatever he's interested in."

"You know, Obito's room is just a glorified walk-in closet," Jun added in, Kakashi held his tongue to keep from lashing out at the woman. Clumsily oaf, or not, he was to be married to Obito.

"I could kind of tell," Kakashi tried to project a positive image. There was really no reason that he would have to rub the fact that the new house he had ordered was bigger than this crumbling home. Soon he and Obito would have their own house and he would definitely be shaping Obito up to be an obedient husband, if Obito liked it or not.

"Kakashi," Keiko offered her son-in-law a steaming bowl of rice, "did Obito put two and two together?"

"Good morning, Kaasan." Kakashi pulled down his mouth guard, ignoring the gasps of shock that resounded in the small room.

Kakashi struggled against the crushing hug that even a trained Chuunin like himself, couldn't avoid, "Kaasan, please..." He needed to breathe.

"Oh, you're so handsome!" She squeezed the boy again, "I can't believe you're--"

Obito seethed, his aura was aflame.

First Kakashi waltzes into his life, takes over his room, interrupts his "training," swallows his ejaculate (REALLY WEIRD), takes over his spot at the table and then calls his mother his mother. Not that he would say something to Kakashi, maybe he wanted a mother but he didn't like the way his mother was hugging--FONDLING Obito. "MOM!!!!"

"What's the matter, Obito?" Meijin asked, flipping the page, and not bothering to look up at his teenage son.

Obito growled at his mother, that forced her to let go of Kakashi and shoot a firm glare at back her son. "Why are you hugging Kakashi?"

"It's because he's adorable!" Kakashi shoved some more rice into his moth and bowed out, he have to skip the rest of breakfast if he wanted to dodge Keiko's hugs.

The last Hatake rose and approached his husband to be, straightening the goggles on Obito's head. "Obito, how slow are you..."

Obito forced his goggles into a crooked position.

"Huh? What do you mean."

"Do I have to spell it for you, Obit--"

"No!" Obito tried to grab Kakashi and missed, Kakashi dusted himself off as if he had been touched. It would be a tough marriage, Kakashi mused, but he could deal with it. "I can find out for myself, this conversation is over. Don't talk to me for the rest of the day!"

Obito was stunned when Kakashi shrugged apathetically. "Fine."

"I'm going to train."

"Your breakfast."

Obito grumbled, "you ate it..." And it wasn't like anyone cared if he ate or not. He was the biggest loser of the Uchiha.

"If you're training, at least try to get stronger," Kakashi shouted from the door.

"UGHHH!!!!" Obito wailed, flailing his arms, "AHHHHH!!!!"

Kakashi sighed, Obito was becoming more of a handful than expected.

---

Stronger... Obito trained his mind in all the information he had gathered in three days, he'd have no time to do any "training" at home but his room at home was as virgin as this place. A secret he had discovered when he got lost while training.

"How does it feel?" Obito felt the sensation through out his body and struggled to keep his emotions in control. All the missing pieces were clear, the image was complete, and all he had to do was put his theory to the test.

It was a lot different than having sex with a woman as he thought, but overall it was a big success.

"Obito, faster," he winced, it was tight. But it felt good.

Perhaps it was useless training, only a lowly Uchiha like him would have trouble finding a live subject for. But at least this way he would record and track exactly what he needed to improve on. His spouse's body would be different, it didn't matter anymore...

"Kakashi," he ran his hand through the copy-ninja's white hair.

Kakashi would be close enough test subject. And he wasn't half bad looking, despite being an asshole.

"Ah," Obito felt his will become liquid and he lost control when he heard his voice being trembled in that sound. "Ob-ito."

"Shit."

The only thing that sucked about Shadow copies is that they "poof" just when you're about to ejaculate into them.

It was weird when the Kakashi you were having sex with had just been fucking gone poof.

It also friggin sucked, he looked down bitterly at the mess he had created.

And the young Uchiha failure realised how lame and really gay that he had become.

He, just in theory just had sex with a copy of guy who was his rival and then that guy "poof"-ed and then that shadow clone's information got relayed back to him, making him (Obito) aware of the experience of being done in the behind was pretty satisfying for his copy of Kakashi and that the clone loved his penis.

It was also embarrassing...

And something to be ashamed of...

And gay...

Very gay.

Hopefully not Kakashi gay, Obito Uchiha thought, grabbing a rag and wiping the floor down, but pretty gay.

And the saddest part.

Obito still needed to practice.

After all, with a crowd to please, practice makes perfect.

* * *

-

TBC

**Author's Note:**

Well, that was weird.

And at least it's over...

If you don't want Kakashi and Obito's child to be Sasuke, speak now or forever hold your peace.

BTW, if you haven't guessed but Kakashi is a virgin and he's feeling pretty confident in himself because he thinks that Obito's a virgin too. But just like Naruto Uzumaki, Obito's training is pretty useless unless in certain situations.

Sorry that this chapter is late... And lame. The next chapters will be more interesting.


	9. Chapter 08

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Three days had past and still Obito lazed about, no where to be found. Kakashi searched the house finding Obito in the most obvious place.

His room fast asleep in his futon.

"Mmmm..." Kakashi never knew why Obito was lazy. Was it just cold feet? 

Even still, Kakashi had to ask his Grandfather for answers. The old man rambled on about the weather until finally mentioning Obito would rush home to sleep without saying a word to anyone and by the time that Kakashi returned from wedding preparations Obito always had just the right amount of chakra to stay alive.

Kakashi rested his hand on his chin and mused if his soon-to-be life partner had gotten even more lazier, but now he knew why Obito never seemed to get any stronger.

"Obito," Kakashi finally said after three days of sharing a joint room, a night before the wedding, "do you even care?"

Not that Kakashi, himself, cared, but Obito made things so blazingly regretful that Kakashi almost wished he had inhaled his words to not have wasted his breath. It was so obvious that Kakashi was the male bride, and Obito just dozed around no caring.

"That's what an arranged marriage is, Kakashi."

The reponse from the young groom left Hatake Kakashi speechless.

'So,' Kakashi thought to himself, 'he never had a choice. And marrying him was just my choice. Well, this is quite a well dug hole.'

"I've known I would be married off since I could think, I'm not some girl. I'm tired, so go away Kakashi." Obito moaned, turning his back to the unmasked boy. _'I'd never thought I'd build up an immunity to Kakashi's face,'_ Obito thought, but he noticed that he was losing weight from the "training" he was putting in and was somewhat proud of himself.

He didn't even glance at Kakashi, he was almost sick of seeing his face after all his "training" if Kakashi wasn't such good "fodder." And Kakashi was such a great guy, helping out with the wedding at all. Rin was avoiding the lacklustre Uchiha too, she didn't even offer a hand but it's not like she would be allowed onto the Uchiha premises so freely. She could have asked though, this wedding business was too complicated. And how come Kakashi hadn't even asked him to help. _'Really, if I was marrying Kakashi it wouldn't be half bad. But I'd rather not, Rin would hate me tons and so would all the girls in this village.'_

Kakashi had gotten out a spare futon and soon was lying awake, nervously awaiting the next day. He wouldn't get that much sleep either (three hours to be approximate), looking up at the ceiling.

Obito heard the shuffling in the bed, and could only smile. "Are you nervous for me?"

Kakashi had to bite his lip to keep from laughing, only to respond, "I'm tired, so go away."

Obito shook his head, "wish me luck, Kakashi..."

"Goodnight Kakashi."

"Obito," Kakashi opened his eyes, he couldn't just leave him out of the loop. Really, he was a guy too and he just never was invloved with a wedding until his own and here Obito was sleeping while Mikoto basically planned her dream wedding with Kakashi and Obito as props. "Obito, I need to talk to--"

"zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"

-

-

**IDIOT**

by Masked Lover

-

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, not ever, never ever never.

---

Chapter 8

---

"Obito, hurry up, you'll miss your own wedding! You're so hopeless!" Obito was honestly running as fast as he could, he just didn't want to trip on his feet. His cousins were rushing behind him, and as soon as they reached his sides they swooped him up and carried the poor groom by his elbows.

"I'm sorry, I thought it was at the Shrine!!!" Obito grit his teeth as both his cousins pinched him at once.

The groom was then hoisted higher because being carried higher in the mind of seventeen year olds mean traveling faster, Akira looked at the improperly dressed groom who was basically at his mercy. "You're an IDIOT!"

"What's going on?" Obito continued to ramble, even though he knew he usually and clearly was being ignored, "I thought this was a traditional wedding ceremony!"

"It isn't! The bride changed his mind!" Goro Uchiha hissed out, "or more like he really didn't have any control. Didn't you know that Mikoto was the wedding co-ordinator. Kakashi tried to stop her, but she's Fugaku's wife."

"What?" Obito kicked his legs trying to run away from the chapel in front of his eyes, he didn't want to go there at all! After the clumsy Uchiha had gone all out on his traditional grooms clothing for a Japanese style wedding. "That's a church!!"

"It's Western Style! Didn't you know?" Came the other cousin.

"WHAT?! What for?" Then it came to him, cold feet. Obito didn't want to get married at all now! All that training and he would look like an idiot before it all began.

"The bride said the groom didn't care, did you care?" Akira corrected Obito's behaviour with another pinch. Obito didn't deserve Kakashi, was the look that both boys silently though as the neared the chapel doors and ran around to the back.

Obito was the only person in the area wearing Japanese style clothing.

If he could pull this off, maybe he would get back to being the town fool rather than reject.

And no one had seen the bride yet, but everyone in the Uchiha family was dressed in Western clothing. "Anyway, there's no time to change!! I think the Uchiha women went overboard on this one."

"UGH!! Why didn't Kakashi stop him!" His mother was shooting daggers at him for being late to his own wedding, but there was no time, the guests were starting to fill the church. "Oh no, I'm all dressed up wrong! How do I wear this... I'm going to look like an idiot!"

The pair held open the back door of the church and waited for it to close to respond.

"You are an idiot, Obito." Both Akira and Goro stared at the closed door with jealous eyes, wondering why Fugaku didn't arrange for Kakashi to wed them rather then their useless cousin. And most of the Uchiha men would soon grow to find the feeling was mutual.

---

'And after all that training,' Obito ran through the narrow halls, dodging those who tried to flag him down.

"What happened? I heard you were at the shrine." Keiko and most of the Uchiha men were searching for the wayward groom and hoping he wasn't stealing a peek on his wife-to-be as it was bad luck.

The fat and chubby Uchiha woman shuffled over to her only son in oversized dress violet and heavy make-up. Obito looked terrible, and he was putting on those horrid goggles, as a mother-in-law to a wonderful boy, she had to put her foot down. Keiko reached her hands out to Obito's glasses to remove it, "to think you didn't listen to Kakashi, you're hopele--"

"MOM!" Obito brushed off his mother's fussing hands, his goggles intact. "I don't need to be... I just want to get married!"

"OBITO!" Keiko watched as Obito entered door to the room full of people waiting in the pews and the room fell silent.

Obito was already fifteen minutes late.

Obito climbed those stairs of destiny and turned to face the crowd of judgement with bravery and peace of mind, in his formal Japanese clothes, in a church full of important diplomats, as himself.

Tsunade tried to reach Obito's eyes to give him comfort, but he was firmly in his own world and refused to be unrooted.

The way he stood made the guest shift uncomfortably in their seats.

Yosubato slapped his forehead, "poor Obito."

But looking back at his pupil, he had never seen Obito more confident and strong in his life.

The organ started up, some wedding song that Obito ignored.

Everyone looked to the doors that swept open and in came the best man...

Obito's eye twitched.

The "best man" someone he didn't even know. But that guy looked familiar. With his stupid bowl haircut, he gave a thumbs up to the groom and was hurt when Obito remain apathetic and didn't even spare him a glance.

Then the bridesmaids came down in that blue colour that reminded him of someone and Itachi (the ring bearer) and one of his nieces as the flower girl.

Really, the entire bridal party was inconsequential.

"I'm a really bad groom aren't I?"

Gai looked at the man in question, "probably."

Obito smirked. "Thanks."

Some best man he turned out to be.

Obito was just waiting in darkness for the sound to return in a crescendo, until "Here comes the bride" was pounded into the keys of the organs instead of that drone tune from before. The groom spotted Rin in the crowds, and he saw her rise, he hands rising to her mouth to stifle a scream.

Obit's heart leapt to life like a hare in spring.

He didn't even notice his father beside the bride.

The bride was a Japanese bride, all in white. Everything, the wedding, the world seemed to fall in place at the moment. The hues of the brides maids and the flowers or white and the dresses in that odd shade of hue that could only match with his skin.

The hairstyle that the bride was sporting was obviously a wig, but the odd colour of white on white with that sliver of blue sent tingles down Obito's spine.

Obito ignored the sobs of loss that was coming from the female population.

He ignored to murmurs of the crowds.

He ignored everyone else but Kakashi in that span of time that seemed like an eternity for his bride to reach himself.

"You're hopeless," Kakashi mouthed.

Obito opened his mouth, "No, Kakashi."

Obito locked eyes with Kakashi, who fell stunned to his fiance's firmness. "You don't understand."

* * *

-

TBC

**Author's Note:**

You guys were TIED before but now it's: 

6 for **YES**  
5 for **NO**

Now I'll only be accepting logged in votes, no double voting. Overall I really don't care. I could write it either way. I'll announce the winner next chapter, best of luck you guys. 

Just notice that after this chapter, the results... WILL BE AWESOME(-NESS)!


	10. Chapter 09

-

-

"Ohhh," Mikoto was burning up inside of her heart. The stage was perfect, and she had to really hand it to Kakashi, he was a pro in everything he did. They weren't even late for the wedding after the photography session. It would be enough to cut costs on the wedding and if Obito agreed to the magazine exclusive then they would just cover the rest. 

"Uuee," Mikoto turned her head to see a young girl whimpering at the spectacle of the wedding.

A fan girl? There were a lot of fan girls in attendance, she didn't look like she was in tears. It took one more glance for the Uchiha head's wife to realise who she was. "There, there."

"I thought I'd be upset," Rin looked up at the pedestal. Obito looked so much different now and Kakashi (her long time crush) looked like he had stepped out of a magazine for Japanese brides, "but they really look good together."

Fugaku grunted, "Mikoto..."

Rin stole a look and thought, _'that must be Fugaku Uchiha.'_

Mikoto pouted and bristled against her husband's side in the pew, "but darling, I didn't get my DREAM wedding, just a plain old Japanese ceremony, and it wasn't cool at all and now I get to help plan a wedding for Kakashi and we do owe their family a favour and so I thought that we should throw them a cooler wedding. Ah doesn't Kakashi look great, it was your idea to make him a bride? Well, you have to say that--" 

"MIKOTO," Fugaku emphasised sternly, "I love you, but this is a little too much."

Mikoto stuck out her tongue, "You're boring! Ooh! The cool part."

"Do you take, Hatake Kakashi, take Obito Uchiha to be your lawful wedded husband, in sickness and in health, 'til death do you part?" Tsunade looked over to the confident bride. Really, was it a question?"

Kakashi Hatake looked Obito in the eyes, who looked back sternly.

"Hatake Kakashi..."

Obito took in a deeper breath.

Obito bellowed even before Kakashi could speak the obvious yes.

"**--WOULD YOU MARRY ME?!**" Orochimaru bounced Sai in his arms, "you can't back out now, **Hatake Kakashi**!" His interest diverting from his sleepy son to the scene at hand. Another baby had begun to wail from Obito's voice, but Sai remained cool and sleepy. Jiraya pinched his temple, and Kabuto kicked the pew in front of him.

The nervous groom felt those hand touch his own, the smell of flowers and Kakashi vocally defining his answer for everyone to hear, "I do."

"**I DO TOO**!" Obito yelled back even though , "**I'LL MARRY YOU TOO!**"

Mikoto's jaw dropped, she had really wished that Itachi hadn't stood in for Obito during the ceremony.

**"NOW LET'S KISS!"**

-

-

**IDIOT**

by Masked Lover

-

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, not ever, never ever never.

---

Chapter 9

---

Dinner had been an affair.

Many clans had gathered from far and wide to see our heroes marry, and it grew tedious. Eventually Kakashi changed into a more formal kimono, but Obito stubbornly refused to change.

The finally retired to a near empty dinner table, the adults were going around and rubbing elbows. Itachi was surly and eating sushi silently, trying to ignore his suitors and their parents.

"Congratulations Kakashi!" The momentum of that _"pat on the back"_ nearly caused Kakashi to double over. Gai was lacking enthusiasm today, so Obito wasn't the only oblivious one today.

"Hey," Obito bit bitterly, gobbling down a mouth full of sushi, "that's my wife!"

"AAHHHHHHHAAHAAH!!" Gai's eyes became the size of saucers, somewhere in the depth of it the striking realisation that his ETERNAL RIVAL had somewhat changed. The great Gai didn't know and his RIVAL sense were tingling madly.

There was an awkward pause and the Gai managed a, "CONGRATULATIONS BONITO-ANIKI!" through gritted teeth and a forced smile that made Kakashi sigh. "THE FERVOUR OF YOUTH IN HERE!"

Gai jabbed at Obito's chest, "USE IT!"

Then Gai lapsed realising what he had insinuated... "Ah.. Ahn.."

He blushed.

Obito held in his scathing words, "er.. Thank you...

"My name is Obito," Kakashi stole a sideways glance at his husband and froze when Obito had caught him. The two were pretty much separated at the alter by the Uchiha women all going crazy over Kakashi's face and wanting to see more of it despite Kakashi being overrun with emotions. "Kakashi, would you like more eel?"

"Eel, eh?" Came the boyish voice voice, "filling him up on eel already, Obito?"

"Iruka?" Obito knew this boy? He was wandering under the tables, stealing food all evening and Kakashi had tried to approach him but the boy was fast. "I'm sorry, I messed up the invites."

"No problem," Iruka smiled giving a thumbs up, before he was snatched up by an anbu.

"Sorry Obito, this Urchin got in on his own--"

"PUT ME DOWN! I'LL KICK YOU IN THE NECK!"

Kakashi glanced at the unfamiliar boy, taking some eel for himself. "Is this supposed to be your friend, Obito?"

"I'm his friend! You bishounen!" Kakashi raised his brow, was that supposed to be a compliment?

"He's Obito's comrade. I'm sorry for the inconvenience this had caused, thank you for your hard work. You may leave." Kakashi mumbled. The Anbu was more entranced by Kakashi's face and it took a while before he relaized that Kakashi was out of his league. Kakashi longed for his rape prevent face guard... At least as an Uchiha, he had a little more security. "Can you keep quiet, you're bothering the guests."

Obito scooted over on his seat and let the boy sit on half of it, "aniki. How was it? They say when you get married, you get to **(bleep) (bleep)** **(bleep)** and then you **(bleep)** in the guys ass. Is it true?"

Obito nodded, "yes!"

'What the, he's just a kid and he already knows about that? This Village has become a scary place,' Kakashi thought. 'But then again, I married Obito for status, I'm the worst kid of them all.'

Orochimaru wondered if he had to clean his ears, but the way Sai was fidgeting he wondered if what the scarred boy was saying bothered his son. "Congratulations, Obito Uchiha. Kakashi Uchiha."

"Uwaahh," the cries of a new born sounded. Kakashi turned his head to see one of the Legendary Sennin standing over him.

"Orochimaru, is that your new born son?" The newest Uchiha bride had to admit that Jiraya, despite being a shady pervert, had given birth to an adorable child. He looked at the beads that were collected in the corners of Sai's eyes. "Can I hold him?"

Orochimaru just handed the child over, luckily Jiraya was off stuffing his face and hitting on women because he would have flipped seeing him handing off their freshly born child to a young and inexperienced boy. "Sure."

Kakashi's eyes widened, Sai looked up at him with his huge black eyes.

"Uwah..." Obito and Iruka crowded up around baby, even Gai's interest was peaked and being the tallest towered over the groom and the troublemaker. "It's light."

A baby was incredibly light, Kakashi found. He looked up and met Obito's eyes and in that brief second Obito caught the desire in his wife's eyes setting off sirens to run for the hills.

Kakashi, sensing Obito's sudden, just laughed along with the giggling baby, "you just don't get it, idiot."

But they both understood, neither had a desire to be married or have a child.

They were just doing what the village expected them to do, claiming what was the easiest.

That the other was clueless.

* * *

-

TBC

**Author's Note:**

The Iruka in this fic is the trouble making Iruka from his childhood, remember, Iruka was a lot like Naruto when he was young. I wonder if Naruto will calm down like Iruka did during...**  
**

7 for **YES**  
6 for **NO**

**YES**es won though there was an AMAZING SPLIT. I apologize to all the **NO**s**.  
**

And for the last chapter, that was crap.

I'm sincerely sorry. If it's possible, as in if you let me, can I go back and seriously change some parts of the previous chapter?

Yes?


	11. Chapter 10

_-_

_-_

**IDIOT**  
_by Masked Lover_

_-_

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, not ever, never ever never.

* * *

Obito always trembled in amazement of the construction site, passing by it everyday to practice on his shadow copy. And every time he looked up at the lawn being put in and the tulips being planted he felt a pang of jealousy. 

The huge gap between his family and the rest of the Uchiha's in the area was widening, like a village girl, he had to marry rich. It was the only way to bring his family out of the ditch, perhaps marrying into Kakashi's family had been one of the smartest decisions he ever had the chance to make.

It all seemed unfair as he watched the main family build yet another house on the large plot of land where he used to play as a child. Three generations of Uchiha lived in his small cramped house. Here he had been forced to watch as Mikoto directing a the creation of a new garden with Kakashi at her command, rummaging in the dirt.

Obito had always comforted himself, jeering at the house with cold words, how it was way too big for his tastes and suited a Hatake more than an Uchiha. The regular sour grapes.

Now standing in front of the gates to his own house he felt the nervousness build in his stomach.

What was this property tax on this baby?

"It's nice that everyone chose to bend tradition by letting us stay here alone, ne Kakashi." Obito turned to face a stern looking wife, Kakashi had been wearing a solid expression all night after seeing baby Sai. He had to admit, the black haired boy was growing nervous at Kakashi's expression. "Ah, I'm also sorry for being late."

Kakashi placed his arms around Obito and lifted him up in the air, causing said Uchiha to flail and kick. "Put me down! KAKASHIII!!"

"Shut up, it's so dark, you'll wake up the neighbourhood!" Although the new estate was in a isolated area, there was no way that anyone could really hear and the area was set with traps that would set off it someone disturbed them that night.

"I hear this is a tradition somewhere," Kakashi continued.

"Put me down," Obito protested, he was the man of the house and he was going to prove it to Kakashi in the bedroom.

"Size doesn't matter!" Kakashi spoke with a forced voice.

"C'mon Kakashi!!" He whined in a shrill voice, imitating one of Kakashi's many fan girls. "Let me down."

"Fine, I'll let you down," although he was reluctant to let the black haired boy go free, especially with what was planned for tonight.

His father had always jumped the sword to get something over with. Even fear didn't scare him... But... This was different, scary in it's own way.

"So what do we do now..."

"I dunno..." Obito murmured, he tried not to look Kakashi in the eye but despite feigning ignorance they both knew the truth, "I think we're supposed to do it."

[Four Months Months Later

"Kakashi!! Wake up!" He shook his spouse, hoping to rouse the boy from his sleep. "C'mon Kakashi. C'mon Kakashi! I know you can do it. It's almost lunch, come eat lunch"

Then he tried pulling the sheets off his spouse, but the edges were weighed down by Kakashi's weight.

There were things about Kakashi Obito quickly learned.

One.

He was not perfect.

Two.

Kakashi couldn't cook or clean properly. In fact he failed to do so. Especially clothes, now that Obito was in charge of laundry...

Laundry was a nightmare before... Every item of cloth that Kakashi had owned prior the their relationship had been dry-cleaned (at discount of course, he was Kakashi Hatake.) it had been hard to break the habit too.

...Cooking and cleaning previously done by maids now was a chore for both of them to... Mostly Obito to do and it had freed up a lot of money in Kakashi's bankbook.

It made Obito Uchiha want to wish he was less learned in household duties.

And that Kakashi was less of an ass.

"Ten more minutes, I only get two days off this week," a familiar phrase that Obito no longer bought. He struggled to reach his spouse under the blanket, but Kakashi pulled the sheets over his spiky hair and rolled away from Obito. Still, Kakashi, smiled to himself. Being married to the town idiot wasn't so bad.

"Fine," Obito rose and started to race for the door, "I'm going to eat your food in ten minutes if you don't get up."

"No don't!!!" The sheets flew off the poorly dressed Jounin flew up like a possessed scarecrow and darted after the food that he had taken for granted, careful not to slip despite his increasing dizziness.

---

Prologue

---

"I want to talk about our future," Obito said over his black coffee, as if were the same as discussing the weather or buying more toothpaste.

It was one of the new skills that the new Uchiha couple were both still developing in their early relationship:

How to break news or serious discussions properly.

"Future," a spurt of food came out Kakashi's mouth before he shoved it back under his the cloth covering his face and continued chewing. "You mean, yours and mine?!"

"WHO ELSE'S?!" Obito pounded the lacquer table with a closed fist several times, he looked at his hand with his chopsticks. "Sheesh, and they call me thick."

Somewhere down the line he wondered his he would have indents from where he was massaging his temples quite forcibly with his fingers.

"That's because I'm handsome, talented, beautiful, smart, rich and well-bred. Everyone forgets I'm not perfect because I'm pretty much close," Kakashi was almost sparkling with stars and sunbursts around him, he believed his words so much that the concept of Kakashi's self-assured coolness sent chills down Obito's back. Kakashi shoved the last grain of rice with his chopstick and presented his empty bowl. "More rice."

Begrudgingly Obito filled the small bowl, as Kakashi continued on his tirade. "What do you want to talk about? It better be important."

"In the future..." Obito continued with calculated steps, he could tell that even though Kakashi was acting disinterested he too was concerned.

It was a touchy subject for even those in their thirties, let alone for two boys who were barely teenagers and married. There was a silent war that was killing so many of their comrades that it would be insane not to budget and plan ahead so early into their marriage.

Kakashi had almost wished he had brought up the subject as he had more dire news, but karma and fate was presenting itself an opportunity to ride a wave instead. "In the future, I'm aiming to become a school teacher or a member of our government in the future. And..."

"Also, I think that we should discuss if we're going to be together in the future." Obito continued, "in case I die... Or something happens to one of us. We have to make a plan... For the future..."

"We just got married two months ago..." Kakashi stated, pretending to be stupid, but there was a slight hurt tone to his voice.

"Four months ago," Obito wiped away his faint tears, his hands trembling on his knees. "I'm sorry Kakashi. Well... Okay, so now, I'm talking twenty years down the line!"

"There are a lot of girls and guys that want me, and if I wanted to be with them--" Obito's eyes met Kakashi's, a vulnerability flickered in those domes. He struggled with the tough act but even Kakashi didn't know who he was trying to fool with it. "You couldn't stop me."

Dead silence ate the home in a single gulp.

"BUT being married to you wasn't as horrible as I thought it would be, having someone at home that could clean and cook meals..." Kakashi threw in a compliment to try to put his husband's mind at ease. "And you're pretty well hung for someone our age so it's not so bad. I don't know why you're so short but I think I'd rather be short if I could get a nice wang too. I mean really, I worry about the future, I mean what happens if it grows too big? Then I guess we'd have to switch roles..."

The white haired Jounin looked at his egg and tsked, "look what you did to me, Obito. I'm talking like you now."

Kakashi looked up to see an expression opposite and to the left of what he had expected... Which was sadness.

"Uwah, you're blushing," Kakashi commented, ever so boldly.

"I..." Obito stammered, "I'd like to have at least two children, in the future."

"I was also thinking of us having children, I was thinking we can take advantage of the program that funds young couples who have children." Almost instantly Kakashi attempted to procure the brochure for the program, but Obito was stammering and overall confused with how well the subject had gone over with his spouse. "When I think about it we should be having children now, because at least we'll still be able to benefit off the government's money."

Obito finished his last piece of egg, happy to big back on track. "Now, you don't mean now, now, you mean in a couple of years, right?"

"No, I mean now."

There was a deafening silence again, it was then that Obito noticed his Kakashi's hand was resting firmly his own stomach.

"I think I'm pregnant."

* * *

-

**TBC**

**Authors Note:**

No time for words, but I'm sincerely sorry that his is MANY MONTHS LATE!!! Next, Mahou no Kotoba or... Charming Princes something... It's been so long that I've forgotten my own chapter names.

Sorry for the constant grammar and spelling mistakes. I'm on a mac and am too poor to afford myself Word.


	12. Chapter 11

_-_

_-_

**IDIOT**  
_by Masked Lover_

_-_

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, not ever, never ever never.

---

Chapter 11

---

The day was moving at a deafening crawl. 

Kakashi looked up at the clock before shaking the realization that he wouldn't be able to see Obito today anyway.

It was slow days like this that Kakashi found himself forgetting himself and his responsibilities.

He caught the melodious laughter of Orochimaru floating by with a stretcher, "_love, you're in love._"

Before Kakashi could turn and correct the Sannin's behaviour, the man was already hurrying down the hall. A moan was echoing from the injured patient he was pushing like a shopping cart. 

It was amazing, he would deny it if asked, but if there was some truth to Orochimaru's words.

More than being a dutiful husband, more than parting the hair from his ears before bed just to whisper a meaningless lover's "_I love you_" after making love, there was something that Obito had become.

He was no longer an idiot that Kakashi would point at accusingly and berate because he wasn't participating in his duties. 

Obito had become... No, Obito was someone special in his life, and the war frightened Kakashi even more... Even if he didn't show it. Obito had become someone who Kakashi lay in bed with at night and when he was a good mood, would crawl beside and rest his head on when he was tired. And then Obito would laugh and say something like, "_I think someone got spoiled._" It had been so long since he had someone, his father Sakumo Hatake had committed suicide and Kakashi had silently endured. And until he married... Being proud and perfect had been satisfactory... Until Obito came into his life. Even if he wanted to, he couldn't confess he cared for his husband Obito, with the war was so close to taking him away. Obito was still so innocent in his eyes, yet boy who was growing so fast.

Already Obito was a head taller than his wife, although he knew that Hatake's grew into tall beings and from word of mouth, once confessed, "if I'm at least two inches shorted than Kakashi, my manhood won't hurt as much." (Or so Orochimaru says.) Kakashi had once heard a pair of older Uchiha laughing over how much of a stag their nephew was and instead of instilling fear into the men he blushed and carted his goods back home. His Uchiha husband had gone above and beyond Kakashi's own expectations, he said many things that night he had found out about Kakashi's pregnancy. Foolish things like, "I'm gonna make Konoha a great place, so our son or daughter can grow up to be anything he or she wants to be." 

It was times like that which made Kakashi glad he had been paired with Obito.

But now Konoha had become a ghost town, had the medic staff had taken to the field. There were very few nin who stayed behind, and did so because of injury, pregnancy or old age.

Obito had become one of the many Chuunin that had been moved to the front line due to the increasing danger and ninja shortage. Although he was already brushing off the sympathy and well-wishers, it did nothing for him. The last Kakashi had heard from his loud mouthed spouse was month ago and he was already two months later. What bothered the white haired bride was that Obito hadn't even taken the time to contact him. Perhaps he was still... Obito wasn't mad, he was overwhelmed at first and recover impeccably. The expression that Obito's face made was a conflicting one, as if Fugaku had arrived on his doorstep and told him that he would have to lead the Uchiha's to glory within a day. Perhaps it was the responsibility or that it had come too soon.

Kakashi was aware that wasn't showing yet, but his unskilled work was making him a bit softer. Orochimaru and Anko had forced him to gain some weight and become more relaxed in his exercise schedule. It was difficult, the pace of life drove him insane but he continued to remind himself that it was he who wanted this child so much. He took pride in making love to Obito, someone who he once thought was crude and immature. Who, had taught Kakashi of his own inexperience and self-depreciating nature by caring for him so lovingly. Who never seemed so caught up in his good looks, who made love to him so carefully and passionately that his eyes glazed temporarily from the memory and drove him to distraction.

The hospital was in no way quiet despite the village's emptiness. Every seven hours or so a team of three or less would be rushed back. He would always watch for the signs of a shrill voiced girl, or a laughing instructor and most of all, the complaints of his goggled husbands who would probably complain all the way to the emergency room. Today, it was mostly Jounin. Those who would be in the same age group as his instructor, Yosubato.

It was cruel to say, be the former Hatake was relieved.

He had to change three times today because of all the blood, which gave Kakashi time to ease him mind and examine his stomach that was still flat and unnoticeable. Orochimaru had caught him looking at his stomach while in the change room mirror, several days past and it became his personal joke to tease the poker faced boy. At least he had been courteous enough to keep it an in joke because Anko would have driven him mad... But Anko had gone to the front line also...

Kakashi watched at the ticking arm that twitched like an insect antennae, his eyes urged it to hasten--even if the time difference was just by a minute.

"He said it was tough," Orochimaru rested his back against the receptionist's desk and drank his boxed juice noisily.

"Who?" Kakashi's eyes widened like an owl's. Obito?

"Your hubby of course," Orochimaru forced Kakashi to lock eyes with him. Orochimaru was a father twice, sometime after Obito must have sought the Sannin for some less than sagely advice. "He said it was tough because you shut him out. He didn't actually say it like that... He actually said something retarded but... I can't really blame you. It's been tough for you."

Kakashi looked at the schedule of operations that were occurring in his division, "why are you saying this?"

He tried to suppress the bubbling feelings sadness, but didn't back down.

"Obito said that he was in love with you. He told me that he doesn't know if you know."

The sudden realization stuck him and Kakashi gripped the papers before him.

"Where is Obito? What is he doing?"

Orochimaru aimed the empty carton of juice and released, watching the carton spin in the air elegantly.

It hit the side of the garbage can and bounced off, splattering bits of soy juice on the clean floor.

"Your team has been sent on a Special mission, they are to contact Kyuubi and convince him to aid our cause...

"...Kakashi?"

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**TBC**

**Authors Note:**

This chapter sucks ass. Forgive my ass because I wrote this late intending it not to suck... But it did. Thank you for enduring so long my readers, next chapter. DRAMA! And I will be replying to those who reviewed that last chapter, thanks for doing so. I need a swift kick in the behind sometimes.  



	13. Chapter 12

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**IDIOT**  
_by Masked Lover_

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Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, not ever, never ever never.

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Chapter 11

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The day was moving at a deafening crawl.

Training had become bothersome.

It was quite often that Kakashi found himself gasping for breath even when he was no where near halfway through his usual training regime. Month five had come abruptly in the form of his ever burgeoning midsection. It made sudden turns into a hassle and normally simple rolls impossible. It wasn't until Kakashi began to feel uncomfortable in his ordinary clothes that he realized that already he had reached the stage of his pregnancy where he would need maternity clothes.

In the meantime, in order to avoid the eventual debacle, Kakashi had been borrowing some of his husband's unflattering clothes...

They were absolutely unfashionable.

He didn't understand how Obito could wear such bad clothes. And he lived with him (for a short period of time) and still there were still mysteries about Obito that even Kakashi could not decipher or rationalize. A preference for mayonnaise? Hopefully one that the child would not adopt. Which made him slightly reconsider having more children with Obito... The heartbreak that would result from losing a child in battle would be unbearable. But being the mother and carrying the child had to have some influence on a child, so hopefully Kakashi's intelligence would pass on. (Another reason to continue training.)

So far Kakashi had not even once been craving sweets (not even those deadly molten, chocolate cakes Obitio also loved), but the former Hatake could not even go four hours without eating a tomato.

Which reminded Kakashi he would need a complete wardrobe make-over for his confused husband. After all, if they were going to have a child together and be a family, Kakashi preferred that Obito would be more hands on with being a good role model in the fashion department...

At least. Kakashi looked at his cloth he was wiping his face with interest. Perhaps the masked boy could make a tailor outfit for himself. It would suit his style more, and it wasn't like he was a stranger to a sewing machine. And if he was, he could master it quickly. (It was called natural talent.) Still he would have to venture out into town, but it would be a lot less embarassing than buying clothes or wearing embarrassing clothes available to the pregnant women of Konoha.

"Maybe I also ask around around the compound and see if anyone has any clothes... It's not like I'll get pregnant twice." Kakashi mused out loud, hand on hip. Talking out loud was starting to become an unfortunate habit, a bit of both pregnancy-induced madness and self-induced seclusion had taken it's toll. It was hard for the expecting Uchiha to just go around and have a meaningful conversation with someone.

Yes, Kakashi was aware that he was married to the most big headed, scatterbrained Uchiha but at least Obito was useful and attentive and wasn't blinded by Kakashi's surreal beauty. And despite Obito being a failure in most aspects, he hoped to god that his husband would pull through and return from the mission alive, because unlike 82 of the adult population Obito had one this going for him (besides his penis) that made him more valuable than any other man in Konoha:

Obito could hold a conversation.

Most men were so enamoured with Kakashi were rendered temporarily immobile and would stutter incoherently or just gaze at him dumbly as if fat cows upon fields of tall grass. Those that didn't make crude and passing gestures of what they would like to do to Kakashi if they could do it, that is.

And sure, there were a lot of attractive men in the Uchiha family. It would also have been a better solution even to have bethrod the Hatake to Itachi as well, but Itachi was a bit too silent for Kakashi's tastes.

Kakashi looked at his well worn jump rope and shook his head at himself for even thinking he could still continue with this farce and comedy act he once called "training." Perhaps it was time to be an adult and lay off the professional Jounin level training he was accustomed to—at least until had given bith. That way, he could carry his infant on his back and continue training. "I hope you take after me."

The pregnant ninja moved quietly to gather his belongings, focusing his mind on the good traits of his husband and how kind Obito had been to send him such loose fitting pants.

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**TBC**

**Authors Note:**

This chapter is ridiculously short! ENJOY!

The upside, the next chapter will also be here within reasonable time.

Please continue to kick my ass for later chapters

**AND HAVE A MERRY, EPIC CHRISTMAS! **


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